Today is my 33rd birthday and apparently I’m easier to read than I thought. How do I know? Because some my friends have been taking a few moments out of their day to celebrate – in 140 characters or less – all of things that don’t describe Todd Gill. In other words, all of the things that do describe Todd Gill.

They’ve labeled the tweets 33ThingsToddGillNeverSaid and although some are just plain silly, others are right on the money…for better or worse.

For example, Bryan notes that I have never said, “I don’t really like playing Modern Warefare 2. That game really sucks.” He’s right. I’ve never said that. I love that game. And apparently everyone knows it. Oh well, video games are for ages 12 and UP, right? Right?!

Sarah points out that I have never said, “I really hate pineapple.” She’s right. I love pineapple. Apparently a little too much, though, because it’s the first thing my wife thought of when trying to describe me.

“The Internet’s a fad.” That one came from Lacy. God, I hope I’m right on that one.

Dustin knows I’ve never said, “Sure. Let’s get a treadmill.” Obviously I haven’t been very secretive about the fact that I hope I never own a treadmill. No big deal, though. Everyone knows that treadmills eventually become gigantic coat racks, right? Wrong. My wife wants one for Christmas this year more than anything. Can you say dilemma?

My friend Bill, who I hardly ever see anymore, made sure to mention that I’ve never said, “Lets hire someone to do this.” Good point, Bill. Now I know where all this gray hair is coming from. Sigh…

“I’d love to go camping, but…” I didn’t even read the rest of that one, Jonathan.

Finally, Seth (who I suspect is the man behind the plan) announces that sums it all up with, “I hate everyone for all the dumb birthday wishes and especially for pointing out how idiotic you all are.”

He’s right. Thanks, everyone.